One of the simplest ways of making changes in our lives is by “flipping the script”. Change negative self talk into positive self talk. However this seemingly simple strategy does take some practice and understanding. If it was that easy then we would just say a few new positive words and our lives would be changed. But like the song goes:
It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it! That’s what gets results!
Fun Boy Three and Bananrama
For example: Choose one of the above word-cloud positive words and say it with a bored, disbelieving tone. What impact does it have? I’m guessing it is unmotivating and may even get you doubting the effectiveness of positive self talk. Now say the same word but with true belief , as if it described you, own the words, use a tone which conveys confidence in the power of that word. Notice how that changes things and how it changes your mood and outlook.
The power of words is well known as expressed in the adage “The pen is mightier than the sword” (Edward Bulwer-Lytton). It is also why newspapers (or now internet) have influence. So it is smart to look at the words we use to ourselves to make change in our lives.
So what are the elements of self talk which can increase its uptake into our unconscious, so that it becomes our default way of thinking. Lets focus on one form of self talked called affirmations.
Tips for using Affirmations (Self talk)
General Approach
- A useful way of thinking about affirmation is that they are like building muscles, every time we say an affirmation we lay down a neurological pathway, the more we say them the stronger the pathway.
- As we can only say one thing to ourselves at a time, when we say something positive to ourselves we are not leaving room for anything negative.
- Look to the benefits you will have in you life when the affirmations become your default way of thinking. What won’t you have to do, what will you have more of. Remember affirmations are one of the pathway to that end goal (the benefits) they are not the goal.
- Begin to notice the small benefits that start happening when you say your affirmations, e.g. I feel a little bit more comfortable.
- Make the use of affirmations a habit, something that you do every day, maybe first thing in the morning and last thing at night. This practice gives a level of importance to your affirmations. It sends a message to the part of you that makes things happen to pay attention.
Make Self Talk positive, credible and in the present
- Make sure the words you use are expressing, what you want rather than what you don’t want. The mind doesn’t process the negation in a sentence, i.e. the “don’t” word. For example if I said to you “don’t think of a purple elephant” what happens? I’m guessing a purple elephant popped into your mind. The same is true when we say things like “I don’t want to be anxious” what does you mind hear ? “Be anxious” and then produces anxiety for you. It is therefore much more effective to say what you would rather have. In the above example maybe it would be to choose a “green giraffe” or around anxiety be saying “I am calm and confident”.
- Be sure that your affirmation is credible and achievable. Base it on a realistic assessment of the facts. For instance, imagine that you’re unhappy with the level of pay that you currently receive. You could use affirmations to raise your confidence to ask for a raise. However, it probably wouldn’t be wise to affirm to yourself that you’re going to double your salary. Keep it realistic! After all, affirmations are not magic spells – if you can’t believe in them, it’s unlikely they’ll impact your life.
- Write your affirmation in the present tense. Write and speak your affirmation as if it’s already happening. This helps you to believe that the statement is true right now. For instance, “I am well-prepared and well-rehearsed, and I can give a great presentation” would be a great affirmation to use if you feel nervous speaking in front of a group.
Make them have some emotional content
- Say it with feeling. Affirmations can be more effective when they carry emotional weight. You need to want this change to happen, so every affirmation that you choose to repeat should be a phrase that’s meaningful to you. For example, if you’re worried about a new project that you’ve been tasked with, you could tell yourself, “I am really excited to take on new challenges.”
Here are some examples
- I fully accept myself and know that I am worthy of great things in life
- I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.
- Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.
- I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful.
- My business is growing, expanding, and thriving.
- I am courageous and I stand up for myself.
Additional Knowledge
From a Solution Focused Hypnotherapy (SFHT) perspective positive self talk (as well as positive thinking) is one of the key elements in the 3P strategy, i.e. Positive Thinking, Positive Action, Positive Interactions. Whenever we do one of the 3Ps such as positive self talk, we produce patterns in the brain that support the generation of serotonin.
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter which produces that wellbeing feeling. When we feel well, we feel more relaxed and have access to all the resources and solution finding capability in our intellectual mind. We are able to make proper reasoned decisions and find our own solutions to our questions. So with positive self talk we are not just reprograming ourselves we are also making ourselves feel better!
Next Steps
So that is a little around self talk, there is so much more. If you want to turbo boost your positive self talk practice and overcome any of the resistance you may feel towards it, Solution Focused Hypnotherapy (SFHT) can help. It can help in understanding the cause of resistance so that your practice become more effortless and natural. SFHT can help you develop that forward thinking positive mindset.
Imagine living life from that balanced, rational and motivated perspective. So that you have choice to be how you want to be and do what you want to do . Following your passions, your goals and dreams. What would that be like?
Contact ACT-Hypnotherapy for your FREE consultation so that we can start the journey together!
