“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
Maya Angelou
What is the imposter syndrome
(For brevity on occasion I’ll refer to Imposter Syndrome as “IS”)
Simply put an “Imposter Syndrome” is where we feel we are outside of our abilities and feel vulnerable and insecure. We feel that we will be discovered, maybe even shamed in front of our peer group. We might even believe that we wouldn’t survive that shame. The GOOD NEWS is that Imposter Syndrome can be thought of as a natural feeling of anxiety that’s hung around a little too long.
Now as I write this article I am aware of similar thoughts in my mind such as;
- Who am I to be writing this blog on the “Imposter Syndrome”? Am I a bona fide expert on this subject ? Probably not but I have some useful ideas to share.
- Will I get raised eye bows and a disapproving thrown from my peer group? Possibly then again possibly not – it could just be my thoughts presenting a worse case scenario to me.
- Would I survive unhelpful comments from my peers? One part of me will say no there other yes. Being realistic it might not feel uncomfortable for a bit, but I will get over it and learn from it.
So it’s a natural part of life and something to notice and get curious about. A level of understanding of its causes can lead to a solution.
In the beginning
Psychological anomalies like “Imposter Syndrome” are not something that we were born with.
Babies open their eyes and readily expect to be cared for, to be kept safe, warm and nurtured. They don’t open their eyes and think I’ve been born into the wrong family, or what if I don’t perform well as a baby, other babies have it sorted. They just open their lungs and demand to be fed or cuddled. Now I’m not suggesting that we totally adopt that approach in life but maybe the self valuing would be useful.
In our most vulnerable stage in life we have a profound trust in life.
(Of course that is not the case for every baby – and that is another whole subject.)
One way of responding to Imposter Syndrome is to go back to that early natural confidence that life would support us. With that mindset look to where you have support. Here are some suggestions- You can find your own too.
Resources
- Family and friends – They are there when you need support.
- Health support. The National Health Service that is free at the point of delivery. There is support for both physical as well mental health.
- Social services this is support for when things go wrong with health, relationship, financial difficulties. Its a safety net that helps get us back on our feet.
- The work place. It support us with income, the friendship of colleagues, a purpose, a place to develop and grow. It provides us with the means to live the life we want for ourselves and our families.
- Clubs and hobbies. In environments were there is shared interests we build connections and there is a level of care and support.
Noticing the above may or may not resolve “Imposter Syndrome” but can help us feel more secure and more relaxed. When we feel more secure we are more likely to reach out and seek support. It helps us have a healthier perspective.
Noticing the above is an antidote to Imposter Syndrome. When we have IS thoughts we are blind to or even dismiss all that support we have in our life. Reconnecting to that support can help us relax and feel reassured.
The Journey
So the journey to resolving IS is to loosen our attachment to those anxiety and fear feelings. In essence it is to move our attention to where the problem isn’t. That may sound counterintuitive but focusing on the problem and holding it in mind, not wanting it, feeling its negative effects hasn’t worked. So we have to do something different.
It’s a bit like if I told you don’t think of a pink elephant. I’m guessing you would have immediately thought of a pink elephant even though I told you not to do that. The obvious antidote is to think of something different like a stripped giraffe. When we are thinking of a stripped giraffe where has the pink elephant gone?
The same is true with Imposter Syndrome. When we have IS thoughts prominent on our minds, listening to all the negative thoughts, we end up feeling the effects of those thoughts. They can be quite entrancing and debilitating. The trick is to think of something different, something more positive, such as what action can I take to feel more calm.
For example getting promoted to a new job. It is natural to initially feel an imposter. If we keep focusing on that feeling instead of just getting to know people, learning the job, we may end up feeling we are an imposter. Instead if we learn to relax and take positive action (getting to know people, learning the job) the IS feelings fades and we feel comfortable in our new environment.
An example
Here’s a good examples of where someone overcame that “Imposter Syndrome”.
When I was working in industry (my pre-hypnotherapy days) there was a contractor who serviced and repaired the equipment in our building. Being good at what he did, he decided to branch out on his own.
Anybody that has started a business will know that it can be a slow burn. Doubts will creep in, thoughts of have I done the right thing will arise, feeling an outsider in a sea of successful people, feelings of failure when initially there is no customers knocking on your door . The feelings of being an imposter will inevitably arise. And that is what happened to my contractor friend.
Thoughts of failing his family arose, he went to the doctor for help for anxiety, he didn’t sleep well. Eventually he opened up to his wife about his concerns and worries. I don’t know what was said but I would like to imagine that his wife said “Don’t be so silly you silly sausage. I believe in you, we’ll make it work 😊”. With that in mind and feeling supported and secure he felt more confident, braver and was able to make a success of his business.
Note:
He was very good at his job and had a set of ready made customers (me included) that would eventually call on him. This was the foundation for his eventual business. It’s not the case for everyone. But what is the case is that we all have skills and capabilities and intrinsic value that we can call on. When we are aware of them, then we can take the necessary action to address the concerns our emotional system may flag, rather than be at their effect.
It’s interesting to observe that he did not remember his awesomeness as an engineer. Nor did he realise that he had his wife’s support or even that he could always go back to his old job. He was blind to all of that – because his awareness had been captured by the negative thoughts.
To follow
- Part 2 – The Anatomy of the Imposter Syndrome. It’s structure and how it is created.
- Part 3 – What to do about it.
Imposter Syndrome and Hypnotherapy
Solution focused hypnotherapy (SFHT) approach to the Imposter Syndrome is to support the individual in taking back control when they enter a new and sometime uncomfortable environment. It guides the individual back into the intellectual / rational mind where they can take positive action to address any concerns that have been flagged.
(For explanation of the term intellectual mind – see the free resources – “A presentation on the solution focused hypnotherapy process”)
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy does the above by raising the levels of the wellbeing neurotransmitter serotonin through:
- Explaining the workings of the mind.
- The 3P strategy of Positive Action, Positive Interaction and Positive Thinking.
- The use of relaxation to relax the primitive mind and gain access to the intellectual mind.
- Positive suggestions.
- And a lot more.
If you want to find out more about the Imposter Syndrome, how the mind works and how we create resistances such as anxiety, depression, anger, contact me at ACT Hypnotherapy for your FREE no obligation consultation. During the consultation you will learn what to do about those limiting emotions so that you are free to live the life you want.
Accreditation:National Council of Hypnotherapy (NCH), Association of Solution Focused Hypnotherapy (AfSFH), Association of Neuro-linguistic Programmers (ANLP)
