I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” — Helen Keller

When you look at life and people that are resilient and happy, often there is something in their lives that makes the difference. One of the key differences is that they have a strong support network. That support network could comprise of family, work colleagues , professional care (e.g. doctors), friends and often companion animals (Don’t you just love that picture!). As it is International day of Friendship today lets focus a little bit on friendship.

So what is it about friendship that makes the difference? Here’s some quotes that attempt to define and pin down that elusive quality of friendship.

• “Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend” ― Albert Camus
• “When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”― Jess C. Scott
• “What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”― Aristotle
• “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard
• “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”― Linda Grayson
• “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”― Muhammad Ali

So in many ways friendship is caring about another person, seeing beyond their behaviours (both good and not so good), being willing to speak up for them, as well as speak honestly to them. It can be thought of as choosing to share the journey and adventure of life with someone. So what is your definition of friend , how would you describe your friends ?

Where Friends fits into our evolutionary psychology (The cave people years)

Going a little deeper into the our evolutionary psychology, friendship is part of our ancient need for survival. It comes from when we were cave people, where it was advantageous to be in a tribe rather than on your own.. When we were in a tribe we could share the responsibilities of hunting and gathering and looking out for danger. When we did those things we were rewarded with the wellbeing neurotransmitter serotonin. Serotonin, along with the other beneficial neurotransmitters (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Endorphins) gives us that well being feelings , that relaxed feeling where you can think clearly, make proper decisions and just be yourself. It gives us the space to live in. So it is in many way its an essential element of wellbeing.

Where Friendship fits in the solution focused perspective

From a solution focused hypnotherapy (SFHT) perspective friendship falls into the three Ps strategy , i.e. Positive action, Positive thinking and Positive INTERACTIONS. When we operate from the 3Ps we generate a constant flow of serotonin and we are happy, coping, brave souls. So SFHT encourages the recognition of the friendships you already have, as well encouraging development of new ones. (For more information go to solution focused hypnotherapy)

As a solution focused hypnotherapist my role, in many ways, is to develop a therapeutic friendship with you, supporting you in your journey to a more positive mindset. So that you can access the resources, creativity and natural solution finding capability that you already have.

So if you would like to know more about Solution Focused Hypnotherapy and the 3P’s, take advantage of a FREE consultation by getting in touch🙂. During the consultation you will learn how the brain works and how you can use it to get what you want in life.