If you learn from defeat you haven’t really lost
Zig Ziglar
Growth Mindset (Learn)
I love this quote from Zig Ziglar as it points to a growth mindset. The growth mindset has the potential to put our wellbeing and mental health back into our own hands. The growth mindset is when we have a goal in mind (e.g. to be happier), take action towards it and notice whether we are closer to the goal or not. If we are getting closer to the goal then we keep going. If we notice that the action is not supporting our goal, well we have learnt something and are more informed. This information makes the next step more obvious. To learn is key to progress.
(For more information on the growth set see ACT the book Chapter 8)
So how can the growth mindset help?
Firstly it might seem obvious that looking to learn from our actions is a healthy activity to be engaged in. Why would anybody do anything different? Unfortunately that is often not the case, for various reasons when things don’t go our way, we often have a negative reaction. That negative reaction can be to blame someone else, blame the situation, beat ourselves up, despair or go into one of the primitive mind responses of anxiety, anger or depression. We do this often automatically.
Before we know it we are suffering negative feelings, which flood our bodies and minds with stress hormones such as adrenaline, cortisol. Other times we have no hormones and go into depression. These feelings keep us gripped unable to free ourselves from them until they either subside or our attention is taken away to something else, hopefully something more positive. I’m sure you are more than familiar with that stuck feeling, one that has that feels of “there’s no way out”.
So how does the growth mindset help? It helps in the following ways:
Giving our minds a different place to go
The growth mindset gives us another option. When we have a negative habit, like the one mentioned above of reacting in a negative way, we typically have just that one choice. The introduction of the growth mindset, i.e. focusing on “what went well?” and “what we would do differently next time?” creates a second option. And since our minds can’t be in two places at the same time, when we are answering the positive growth mindset questions the negative response and its effect on us disappears. The growth mindset acts as negative thought pattern interrupt.
Working within our sphere of influence
When we move our attention to learning from a particular experience, we are are moving the experience into our sphere of influence, i.e. we are moving it to something we can do for ourselves and that is to learn from it. When we learn from it we can then make a decision on what to do next.
This may see an obvious observation. However without this strategy we end up being trapped in the effect of negative thoughts, which halts progress and demotivates us. So the simple change of focus can often make the world of difference. Try this out for yourself:
- Think of a situation that you feel stuck in and one in which you are possibly playing the blame game in.
- Ask yourself: What went well in that situation? Be willing to find even the smallest of silver linings as it will help free you from the attachment to the negative response.
- Ask yourself: What would I do differently next time? This question moves you into a more resourceful place accessing your solution finding ability.
- Notice how you feel now about the situation.
Generating serotonin
When we focus on the positive, i.e. “what went well?”, we create serotonin. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter that gives us that well being feeling which helps us relax. When we relax, we gain access to our natural solution finding capability.
It’s a little bit like the Eureka moment when we go for a walk and a solution to a problem comes to us. The same is true when we move our attention to the positive. The positive mindset creates the space for solutions and possibilities to come through. These possibilities and thoughts were obscured when our mind was pre-occupied with negative thoughts.
The miracle of small steps
One of the causes of our negative reactions is that often we try to take too big a step towards our goal. Taking too big a step and failing can create disheartenment and can prevent us from taking the step again. The growth mindset suggests taking a small manageable step rather than a big one. When we take a small step within our sphere of influence (see above) we gain a feeling of progress and receive a positive dopamine hit. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that gives us a positive feeling. This dopamine hit raises motivation and increases the likely hood of taking another step forward.
How does this support the alleviation of anxiety or depression? Well when we feel in control (i.e. taking manageable steps within our sphere of influence) anxiety and depression are alleviated because we are taking action towards a solution for our problems. Anxiety and depression can be thought of as the emotions we feel when we are out of our control, i.e. when we are stuck and can’t react to circumstances.
Working from our strengths
Learning is one of our specie’s greatest strengths and has got us to where we are. When we put our learning hats on and apply learning to our goal ,we gain confidence and a willingness to go on. Without applying that natural learning ability to the goal we can find ourselves floundering not knowing what to do. Without learning we are like children without experience.
That’s why I chose the picture for this blog. The picture is of an old hand (an experienced learner that has found many solutions) holding an inexperienced young hand. The old hand is giving security, direction and hope to the young person. The young person maybe venturing into a new area of their lives and needs the support. Our ability to learn is that supporting old hand which has got us where we are in our lives, and can help us as we go forward into uncharted territories.
Conclusion
So whenever we learn from defeat, we are in essence putting ourselves in a safe place. When we are safe we are in control and have influence over our next step. This creates certainty of progress and action which is the antithesis of anxiety and depression and anger. With certainly of action there is no need for anxiety, depression or anger. It is a no loose scenario!
So if you would like to know more about the growth mindset and help in generating serotonin so that you have that wellbeing feeling contact ACT hypnotherapy. Your FREE 1 hour consultation will help you understand how the brain works, how anxiety, depression and anger (and their associated behaviours) are created. But more importantly what we can do about them.
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Maybe you are not sure how ACT Hypnotherapy Swindon can help you, or just want to find out more about how we work. Contact us for for a free, no obligation initial consultation. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
